Post-Injection Meltdown

Happy February ICLW, Internetz! If you're just popping by for the first time, glad to have you here and hope you'll consider sticking around as a blog follower! I have PCOS, my husband has azoospermia (no sperm) and together we're attempting to spawn life with the help of donor sperm and IUI's. You've caught me right at the start of dIUI #3 which was almost cancelled before it even began thanks to Cyril the giant cyst (yes, I named it), who has taken up residence in my left ovary. Fortunately Cyril is a happy, non-estrogen producing cyst so I'm still in the game and doing a protocol of Femara and Follistim.

My first Follistim injection was last night. Now I've done injections before but having been on a break since the summer, I felt like an injectibles virgin all over again! My RE has me doing intramuscular (IM) injections for the Follistim. Why?

Because she's a SADIST, that's why!

No. Since I tend to be a slow/poor responder, she prefers me to do all IM injections all the time. This means no short needle tummy injections for this girl. We're talking the big guns in my big butt! (Well okay, upper hip). You know that really long, scary needle that some of you may have had to use to mix meds (often seen when you have to do your own trigger shot)? That's the s.o.b. that I get to inject with each night. FUN.

This is particularly traumatic for me because of my (ridiculous) needle phobia. I know some of you are thinking: "Fertility Chick, wha? You post about acupuncture and blood work and more! How can YOU be such a needle wimp?"

Internetz, it's true. I am a needle wimp. Still. Oh I've gotten better. Much, much better. Back in the day, you couldn't even get me in to do blood work. I'd shake, I'd sweat, I'd cry - it was quite the dramatic ordeal! Since this whole fertility stuff came in to play, I've managed somehow to psych myself up and handle all the needles that have come my way with a certain amount of grace. But these big needles, oh they get me every time.

They are just. So. LONG. Go back up and look at the picture. See the difference? That long sucker is what I get to have every night. Again, this about sums it up.

Last night, we managed to get the injection done in a record first needle time of 12 minutes. That included the prep time to get everything ready as well as being reunited with my Injection BFF the ice pack for a good five minutes. This is a new record for me, Internetz. The last time we were doing IM injections at home it took me almost an hour to get the first one.

Yes, I'm that bad. Pity poor Irish Boy now.

When I see that long, scary needle, all of my needle issues well up and overflow. There are tears. There is bargaining. There is lament. There are cries of "not wanting to do this!" and wails of "why can't we make a baby the fun way like everyone else!" Then more tears until I finally get myself so worked up and pissed off that through gritted teeth I tell Irish Boy to "do it" while I sing at the top of my lungs.

I'd YouTube this for you but honestly, I'm such a wimp you'd probably all abandon my blog in disgust!

Round two is tonight with an undetermined amount of rounds to go. I am hoping and praying that with the addition of Femara (my first time using it) I will respond better and my injection days are limited!

So there you have it, Internetz. The good, the bad, and the mostly ugly of me getting injections. I am ridiculous. I KNOW. But don't you feel sorry for me just a little?

Happy ICLW everyone! I hope to get some comments going on all of your blogs later today!