Monday, August 31, 2009

You take the good, you take the bad...

Oh Internetz, I loved me some "Facts of Life" back in the day!

But seriously, it's been a bit of good and bad here in the nest.

The good: Can I just say that I love my ND? LOVE. While putting in my copious needles for acupuncture this afternoon we were chatting and I swear she either secretly reads my blog or my mind!

Probably neither, but she totally broached the topic of "worthiness." Not worded quite like that, but totally touching on many of the things I blogged about in my last post. She is so supportive and kind. I know I'm practically funding her a new car on my own, but gosh darn it, she is worth it!

The bad: So my friend and his 'evil' wife had their baby. This isn't bad. This is wonderful - baby is healthy - yay! But since 'they' got pregnant, Irish Boy and I have been exiled to the land of infertiles or something. We've had no contact with them since May. My friend and I have been super close since high school. He was the best man at our wedding. He and Irish Boy get along. After he got married we didn't see as much of him (no idea what's up with that) but after 'evil wife' got pregnant it got even less frequent. He knows all about our IF issues (so by proxy I'm sure she does too) - but the last time I saw him in May for lunch he talked the entire time about decorating the nursery. Whatev's, he was excited (though I won't lie, it hurt) - but that's the last I saw or heard of him. I sent him a birthday card in June and got no response.

The only reason I know that the baby is born is because of (evil) Facebook. And what makes it so bad in my books is that 'evil wife' was NEVER on Facebook before this. Yes, she had an account, but truthfully both she and my friend rarely if ever checked them. Now that she's got the baby, BOOM! Pictures galore. Raise your hand if you could've predicted that a mile away.

This irritates the hell out of me tonight - but forgive my meanness Internetz, just trust that if you met this girl, you'd get my frustration.

Since we haven't 'officially' received any word about the baby (the posts on Facebook were just general ones - not directed to us or other friends in particular) I'm torn about what to do. I feel like I should send a card (an easy way to send congratulations without bursting into tears) but Irish Boy feels like since they haven't bothered really telling us, why should we?

Where's Mrs. Garrett when you need her?!

4 comments:

Lin said...

Yah, that is a tough spot. And, yah the no FB until after the baby thing is crappy...well, FB in generally is crappy to me currently! :-)

I can see Irish Boy's point, and it would probably be the one shared by my hubby, as well. However, considering that you have been friends iwth the the new dad in question since high school, a card seems appropriate...regardless of whether he's actual done you the courtesy of keeping you in the loop or not.

Maybe he'll realize that he unknowingly exiled you to the land of IF when he gets your card. Maybe (probably) it's not that simple. But, at least it's a start.

Good luck!

Beautiful Mess said...

Can I get in on the "had a crappy day" train too?!

I agree with Lin. I'd send a card. My hubby would say the same thing yours did, but I'd just roll my eyes at him and sign his name to the card and send it off. But that's just my opinion. If I had read this BEFORE I got over my craptastic mood, I'd have said "EFF em! Don't send the card" My mood has improved only slightly and that's why I say do what Lin says. Either way, I got your back and I'll kick her FB page, if you'd like.
*HUGS*

Fran said...

I agree with Irish Boy! Don't bother with cards of phone calls, obviously they don't know how to handle your friendship at the moment which is just crap to be honest. We know a couple who did the exact same thing, they told us they were pregant, they told us the baby was born, we went visiting with a little present (as you do), and they barely showed us the baby! Honestly, it was so weird. We hardly saw them since then despite the promises as usual. Ah well, what can you do? Much love, Fran

beyondalice said...

I'm with Irish Boy and Fran. I've lost friendships once the wife became pregnant too, and I just don't get it! My hubby didn't even want to have anything to do with them after they just completely fell off the face of the earth. I tend to get a bit bitchy though...I HATE when people don't tell me important things personally, and just assume that I would see it on Facebook. My own sister didn't even tell me that my nephew had been born - I found out about it on Facebook! I was SOOO pissed.

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