Healthy priorities

I've just started my month-long vacation from work (don't hate - trust me, you wouldn't want my job in spite of the awesome vacation time) and am 2 weeks into my naturopathic adventure in an attempt to take better care of myself. Hundreds of dollars later, (there's no price tag to health, my friends!) I'm on enough supplements to make me choke - literally, you should see the size of some of these pills! Some good news though - my usually crappy insurance does cover up to $750 per year for naturopathic visits so you can bet your ass I'm taking full advantage of that! Not that it will take me far mind you, but I'm planning on milking my insurance for all that it's worth! My insurance only covers acupuncture with a letter from a medical doctor so I'm hoping my family MD might help me out there to help offset some of those costs. This getting healthy is expensive stuff!

I'm attempting to be better with my diet - though who am I kidding, I could never follow ND's diet to a "T." The diet is reasonable n' all - and it is certainly more of a lifestyle than a diet - but a lifestyle without some form of sugar is no lifestyle for me! And is it just me, or do you find yourself becoming obsessed with food whenever you start paying more attention to what you eat? This can be a good thing, yes. But I find that I obsess as soon as I finish one meal about what I can have later. Ahem, clearly I have issues. But enough about that...

It's the exercise that gets me. I haven't done any and have no motivation to do so. Short of hiring a personal trainer (not going to happen) who will yell at me I don't know how to get my ass moving. Correction - I know *how*, I just don't.

I know, I know, my motivation should be - *is* - for the possibility of a baby...it just feels all very overwhelming at the moment. I never thought that I'd get to this point. This is not a judgement call at all - but the supplements, the acupuncture, the injectibles, the monitoring...this wasn't at all how I imagined this whole making a family. Mind you, I wasn't exactly picturing donor sperm, my legs in stirrups and a speculum being a part of the big event either. Reality does bite my friends.

We're definitely on a break for July - we're travelling a bit this month and it just doesn't make sense to invest a lot of money into a cycle that we can't really invest in. I'm still on the fence about August. I want to try at least one more IUI - I don't know why, but I do. After that, I don't know. RE will have to weigh in...and so will I. For all of you brave, brave women doing IVF, I applaud you. I don't know if I'm strong enough for that...

This wasn't supposed to be a pity party post. So let's end on a note of motivation - feel free to leave your comments (ie: yell at me!) about exercise. Threaten me...run ahead of me with a cupcake...whatever it takes!