Don't forget to enter my jewelry giveaway that ends on Saturday! Click here for all the details!
So I'm in a bit of a funk over this whole IVF thing.
It's not the IVF itself - though I confess to still being terrified about the whole process and not really sure that yours truly (wimp extraordinaire) can handle all of this.
Perhaps funk isn't the right word. Overwhelmed definitely covers it.
I started some holidays from work at the end of last week and you'd think that would be a good thing. I had big plans. I was going to start a regular workout routine to help me in my weight loss goal for IVF. I was going to get back to acupuncture and start taking all of my supplements again. I was going to be energized, positive, and totally into all that will help us pursue IVF in the new year.
That hasn't happened. None of it has happened.
I don't know if it's the heat, being overtired from a super busy time at work or just the fact that it's all so overwhelming.
We're definitely feeling more secure about the whole financial aspect of IVF, but we've got to work some more of that out.
I need - not want - NEED - to lose a good 50 lbs. to reach my personal goal of where I'd feel comfortable attempting IVF.
I do want this - please don't give me the "if you really want all this, you'd shut up and get on it" speech - I know most of you would mean well but it won't help me at this point.
I'm just overwhelmed and I don't know if I can do this.
Irish Boy is a great support (seriously, the man is a saint) but I really wish that I had a group of female friends who would cheer me on. I don't really have that - most of my girlfriends here are busy with their own lives and families. They don't get the IF thing so I'm feeling a tad lonely out here.
I don't know if I can lose the weight - I sure as heck can't get going to even lose 5lbs.
And if I can let you in on the secret that I've held only in my heart, what if I feel like it probably won't happen for me? That I won't be one of the successful ones?
So overwhelmed. Don't take this as my pity party - just hoping that my vent will help me find a better place to dwell.