Wednesday, April 14, 2010

I Spent Hundreds of Dollars on Fertility Meds...

...and all I got was this lousy crotch rot.

Oh, and a BFN.

Yeah, that too.

Went in a day early for my beta since Ladyville is up in arms and it was confirmed this afternoon that this cycle is not the one.

Then I went to a work meeting for two hours and held myself together like a pro.

Then I came home. And I cried. And cried. And cried some more.

But then I picked myself up, wiped my eyes, and dusted myself off. You see, battling infertility is a bit like being in the boxing ring. Infertility, however, does not fight fair and I got one hell of a sucker punch today.

But this isn't the knockout round. Come the flow of red, I'm back in the ring, ready to fight again another day.

58 comments:

Stacie said...

Great analogy. I am so sorry for the bfn. It just plain sucks.

I will be in your corner cheering you on until you get to give IF that KO it deserves!

Ernie said...

I am so sorry to hear about your BFN. It is truly amazing that you were able to keep it together at work. I really hope you win the next round!

cgd said...

I am so sorry for your BFN. Holding you in my thoughts.....

lis said...

i will say it again for you...this FUCKING SUCKS.

i hope you don't mind cursing.

xoxo and here's to the next cycle...may it be your magic one

Mrs. Gamgee said...

I am so sorry... for both the bfn and the crotch rot. They both suck big time. Have yourself a glass of wine and take it easy.

pcostory said...

So sorry about your bfn. :( We were really hoping this would be the one for you. This totally sucks, you have got that right. I am glad you are keeping the faith. Scream all you want!

Marla.z said...

Boo for BFN! =( You are one strong chickie! *hugs*

Suzie-Q T-Pie said...

Oh Im so sorry.. :(

aladdinsane12 said...

not again! i do feel certain, though, that it will happen soon. and i totally look forward to the celebration post that will happen when it comes!

Jess said...

I am so sorry!!!!

The Boob Nazi said...

I'm so sorry.

Blondie said...

Bummer, sorry to hear that :( But it sounds like you took it like a champ, which is more than I can ever say for myself!

Angelica said...

sucks!! Unknown mami sent me over, I am your newest follower and i have been trying TTC for over a year!

Beautiful Mess said...

SON OF A B.....!!!! I'm so sorry, love! Sending you SO much good JUJU!
*HUGS*

Beckie's Infertile said...

Sorry to hear about your BFN! You are handling it better than I would.

I was also considering throwing BFN parties, would you like one?

Good luck with the next cycle. All we can do is get back back up and fight again!

Fran said...

I'm so so sorry sweetie, but I admire your strength and determination. Much love, Fran

sienna said...

i'm sooooo sorry!! love your attitude - get back in there and kick some bootay!!! lots of luck for next round. *hugs*!

Baby bump bound said...

Infertility is like being in a boxing ring... and I hope that all of us have the chance to knock it out, knock it on it's arse!!! I'm so sorry...I hate BFNs!

Hannah said...

Love this post. That's exactly how it is!
Hugs!

Ashley said...

I am so sorry about the BFN. :(

Heather said...

I'm so sorry.

lynne [jaygirl] said...

I'm sorry. So, so sorry. We're all in this together; hopefully the support will help you remain strong.

Katie said...

I'm so sorry about the BFN. :( You're right: IF is like a boxing ring. I hope that, next cycle, you win this fight with a knockout punch.

Rach said...

Oh, so bummed you got a BFN. :( Keep staying positive. We are here for you.

Waiting Lisa said...

I'm sorry. I hope this next month is when this nightmare finally ends for you. The bright side? You are very funny and you make a lot of people smile. People who are also going through this nightmare and need a good smile.

Pregnant Yuppy said...

I'm so sorry BFNs suck and should be outlawed!

lindsey said...

sending you lots of love! The bitch doesn't fight fair but in the end you will win! xoxo

callmemama said...

I'm so sorry :(.

FertilityNerd said...

*hugs*

I'm so sorry.

Crossed Fingers said...

I'm so sorry to hear about the BFN - life just isn't fair sometimes. I hope this is both of our cycles...I dusted myself off and got back in this round too. This time with meds to back me up...hopefully it works.

TeeJay said...

You can do it, Champ! Great attitude to have during a down time. I'm sorry it wasn't your month. A BFN sucks any way you look at it. But getting back up on that horse is defintitely a good way to combat a broken heart.

Jenn said...

What a great analogy! To win the fighht some day! WHoohoo!!!

Holly said...

I'm so sorry about the bfn. *hugs* this really is like a boxing match. I hope you knock IF out this round

Jen @ After The Alter said...

I'm so sorry hun **hugs!** I hope you win the fight soon. I really do. :( hang in there!

Andrea said...

Sucks a big fat one! Love the analogy and I truly hope it's you delivering the knock out punch in the end ((hugs)).

Mo and Will said...

I'm so sorry. A BFN really is like a sucker punch. So unfair. Thinking of you.

Mo

lowfatlady said...

*hugs* I am so sorry.

stillwaitingformysunshine said...

I'm so sorry about your BFN - I am inspired by your courage inbeiong able to handle your meeting. And I love your analogy - you're definitely not out yet!

21reena

minname said...

I'm sorry you had to shed more tears this week.

Basic Girl said...

I'm am so very sorry. huge (((HUGS))) to hun!

Wade's World said...

just came across your blog, I am going to enjoy reading! I'm sorry it was bad news this month!

Tillie said...

*hugs* sorry about the BFN...i'm so sorry :(

EB said...

You can't see it but I'm giving Infertility the middle finger. Keep your head up, Girl!

zengirl said...

I'm so sorry for all the blows life's dealt you recently. I love your strength and resilience. I hope you pound IF out of the ring and emerge the winner of a shiny new baby at the end of it! Thinking of you!

liberalgranolagirl said...

BFNs suck. "crotch rot" almost made me spit water on the laptop screen :-D

Jes G said...

I just found your blog.....Thanks so much for sharing your story! Looking forward to updates. :)

Peapod said...

My husband just directed me to your blog. Your post is giving me some courage to go the next round. My period came today after our first round of IUI. And it sucks so bad I can't even put it into words. Good luck in the next round.

Heather said...

So sorry to hear that!! It appears we are on the same cycle. Great analogy of the boxing ring! Sunday I had a "false positive" and had a glimpse of what it felt like...then it went away. Yesterday I felt like I had a bad break-up. You know when you just want to cry, eat ice-cream, and sulk...just for a day? That's what you need to do to be ok. Then you go back at it and tell infertility to suck it b/c you're back in the game.
Thanks for sharing, as painful as I know it is.

The Pifer's said...

BFN's are PURE EVIL! Sorry hun :(

Praying for you...

Busted Kate said...

((Sitting in your corner of the ring. Puts a towel around your neck, squirts some water in your mouth.))

Ok Champ, it was a tough round. I know the Judges didn't see it, but I saw that Infertility pad their gloves and hit you while you were down. But it only cheat because it knows it can't win. This fight is your baby. Now come out swinging and show whose the Champ!!

((HUGS))

Erica said...

Hi, I am a new follower...my blog is: http://ifandsif.blogspot.com/

I wish you luck on your new cycle...I enjoy your blog!

Stephanie said...

Just found you today. I think I HEART you already! That analogy is fabulous and perfect. Can't wait to follow along some more :) Prayers & hugs!

Geochick said...

I'm sorry to hear about the BFN and the crotch-rot. And just to freak you out some more...I have vulvodynia that started out just like an effing YI. I feel your pain on the itchiness and really hope yours goes away!

Stickles McQueen said...

BFN's suck. No matter how used you are to seeing them, each one is a little slap in the face. Or punch...to go with your analogy.

I now have "Eye of the Tiger" in my head. You're down but not out! Keep on fighting, girl.

Jennifer said...

Ugh! That just sucks! So sorry for the BFN. Will be thinking about you.

Lauren said...

I'm a new follower. I'm sorry to hear about your BFN. Good luck with the new cycle. Looking forward to reading more updates.

http://notjustanarmywife.blogspot.com/

jrs said...

sorry to hear about your bfn. yes, infertility does always seem to throw a sucker punch right at the last minute. way to not let it get you down. glad you're still in the ring ready to fight.

Recycling Mom said...

Keep up the positive thinking, waiting is just the worst!
~Emily

Random Recycling
http://randomrecycling.blogspot.com

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