Wednesday, March 17, 2010

Luck o' the Irish

Internetz, do not let the title of this post deceive you.

I have NO news. None. Nada. Zilch.

You see, I chickened out. I couldn't pee on a stick this morning, I just couldn't. Well okay, physically I *could*, but mentally I couldn't. I'd like to think that St. Patrick and the rest of the Irish saints would've been on my side, but I still couldn't go there.

I'd be lying if I also didn't say that I couldn't imagine facing the busy day that I had at work knowing one way or another. Can you imagine? I would've either spent my day dashing to the bathroom in tears or been so ridiculously happy that my co-workers would probably have thought I started some St. Patrick's Day celebrations early.

I'm not ready yet. With my beta still a couple of days away, I confess to wanting to bask in the world of "ignorance is bliss" for a little longer.

Yes, I am still sneaking peeks at a variety of "symptom" sites that Google presents me (might I note though that the cramps that I had earlier this week have all but disappeared for the most part). And I don't want to brag, but I do believe that my toilet paper examination rivals the best CSI's out there (if there's a speck of blood, you can bet that I'm going to see it!). So yes, still as bat shit crazy as ever!

But happy. Possibly delusional. Definitely hopeful.

There are two HPT's that remain unopened in my bathroom upstairs. I'm not sure if they'll get opened before the beta.

Then again, there's always tomorrow morning...

37 comments:

junebug said...

Man! After reading the title I rushed here to read the news. Almost felt like April Fools instead. :-) Seriously I totally understand. I probably would have done the same thing. I'll keep hoping and praying for you.

jenicini said...

I don't call it chickening out, I call it being strong! Happy St Paddy's!

Basic Girl said...

Gotta love living in the ignorance is bliss world, I've gotten very good at not testing before a beta...because its just so much easier not knowing sometimes. Just know I have everything crossed for you, whenever you do decide to tear open those tests...but I must say you are a strong strong girl for not breaking. I usually need hubby to hide all unused tests, hah!

Kaz and Amy said...

Praying for friend...I know it's not easy AND no matter what the test say when you take them REMEMBER there is HOPE and a perfect plan for you....I'm praying so hard for you

Chelle (hanwayink) said...

stay strong! (and pls. remind me to do the same when my 2ww comes in a couple months...)

A.B. said...

You have more self control than me. I was an obsessive hpt taker. Expensive habit.

Pre-Heated Oven said...

My fingers and toes are crossed for you!!

Kim said...

I prefer the ambiguity of it all too- however you got me with the title of your post!!!
xoxoxox

lowfatlady said...

You are so good. I would probably have tested by now. I hope this is your month! Thinking about you!

Heather said...

There is one voice cheering you on!! A little envious of your will power. Mostly just happy for you being ignorantly happy!

The other voice?

It screams:

PEE ON SOMETHING ALREADY! I'M DYING OVER HERE! THE SUSPENSE IS KILLING ME! AARRGGHHHH!!

lis said...

wow your willpower is amazing! but i totally understand wanting to bask in the glow of not knowing for a little while longer. keeping everything crossed for you :o)

lis

Holly said...

I don't blame you for waiting, I have sworn to myself I will wait for the beta. I am so so hopeful for you and whether you beta or poas I have everything crossed that it is a bfp!

Kristin said...

Good for you!

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Sarah said...

Ohhh Fertility Chick haha I feel your pain (or anxiety, I guess). I'm proud of you for waiting with the test! And I know what you mean by "basking in the ignorant bliss". There's always that small window, where happiness and hope are plowing over everything else. I'm keeping my fingers and toes crossed for you :) And crossing toes is pretty hard to do, btw. :)

Katie said...

I'm so hopeful for you! Everything crossed that the luck of the Irish carries over to beta day. :)

callmemama said...

I will definitely check in tomorrow morning to see if you caved :).
Good luck!

Tiffany said...

I really hope this is the lucky one and you receive good news very soon!

Juliana said...

The luck of the Irish, could follow you for a little longer then just today:)

GeekByMarriage said...

Biting my fingernails and sending you all the clovers I can imagine.

Jin said...

Everything crossed for you!

Mrs Bee said...

You are a stronger woman than I am...

Totally dying of suspense over here!!!!!

tishi said...

pee pee pee!!!
my fingers and eyes are crossed for you!

Mrs. Gamgee said...

You are my inspiration!!! ;) I keep telling myself, only a few more days... just a few.

Sending prayers and keeping everything crossed!

wait, what? said...

I think it takes a lot of strength to wait to POAS. I can't wait to hear your good news though :)

LucyAnnie said...

shoot! I was hoping for some exicting news! I guess no news is good news at this point!

I am keeping my fingers crossed for you!

Al said...

I always wait til beta. I know I wouldn't trust the result after POAS, so it's just throwing money away to me.

I hope you have some great news tomorrow!

Suzy said...

Hope you have some great news soon.
xoxo

Just Me...C said...

OMG how do you NOT poas? I am in awe of you! I'm really hoping that after the ignorance is gone that there will still be the bliss after either a bfp or a positive beta!

Francie said...

I said it before and I'll say it again - you have a WILL OF STEEL, woman!

Malinda said...

my stomach is in knots for you... I don't know that I'd be able to not POAS... especially with the IUI and knowing you hit the "window"... sending you lots of positive vibes!!!

Laura said...

You are STRONG! I just did an IVF with a 5 day transfer (March 8), and I told my husband to hide the pee sticks. Well, I found 'em. The very first BFP I've gotten EVER! I was (and still am) overjoyed! I've been praying for you & I can't wait to hear your news - I just have a feeling that this time is the one for you! Sending loads of positive vibes your way my dear!

infertiledramaqueen said...

Thinking of you! I am the same way, whenever I feel a bit different and have cramps I think...maybe...no wait there isnt any way...but it could ...no there is no way..and then I finally get up the nerve to take a hpt about three days later. I am throwing baby dust your way!

Crossed Fingers said...

I don't blame you for waiting - I waited for a Saturday to test and was able to spend the morning glaring at my TV instead of my co-workers.

Ernie said...

Yeah, I don't know how you could resist peeing on that stick! I am amazed! Such suspense, I hope this cycle is your cycle.

Jen @ After The Alter said...

Good for you! I know how tough it is not to test...but sometimes I too find ignorant bliss a better option. I'll be praying for you!!

aladdinsane12 said...

take the tests! take the tests! i want you to be preggers!

if i were you, before i peed on the stick, i'd shout (in wrestling announcer man voice):

"LLLLLLLLLET'S GET READY FOR BABIEEEEEEEES!"

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