Wow, totally exciting blog title, eh? But that's where I am at. 10 days past IUI.
I must say, this has to be my most difficult two week wait ever. As I've said before, this cycle just came together so well. I've never had this happen. I fear that these final days will be nothing short of excruciating as I wait and do everything in my power to ward off my period.
Last night, I did the worst thing, Internetz. Really, an awful thing. In fact, I'm hanging my head in shame as I type.
Last night, all night (well okay for a good number of hours), I googled. Oh, I googled good.
I wasn't going to. I had self-banned myself from all things Google during this waiting game. But last night I caved.
You see I was cramping something fierce yesterday. Frequently. It freaked me out. It rattled me enough to fear that my period was not only coming, but coming early. I have to confess that I'm still kind of wondering what the heck was going on down in Ladyville yesterday since it is still early days all things considered.
So I went there. I googled. At first, it was great. There was the elation of what the cramps might be! Oh! Oh! Say it is for me too!
But then I took it too far. I paid for my illicit googling and was filled with dread and despair. Let's all give Google a good fist shake for good measure!
So here I sit - banned from Google (again) - and waiting.
Will I pee on a stick (POAS) before the week is up?
At this point, I'm saying no. But, judging from my Google track record above, let's not get too hasty.
Can I share a fantasy with you, Internetz? Don't worry, it's not THAT kind of fantasy.
Oh Wednesday, it's St. Patrick's Day. As you know, I'm married to a born and bred Irishman. So St. Patrick's Day is kind of a big deal. My crazy fantasy is that I would POAS that morning and it would be positive - luck o' the Irish you know. Can you imagine the glee that I would have giving him that news on such a day? Cliche, perhaps. But in our little world it would be very cool.
But after last nights cramping episode, I'm not sure if I can risk it. For my last two IUI's, I was always spotting a day or two before beta. By the time I actually would go for the beta (required by my clinic no matter what) I was always in full blown CD-1. This time, I'd just be happy to make it to beta with the possibility of something great still there. I know the waiting will drive me nuts - but as crazy as it makes me - there is this little spark of joy for what could be that keeps me going.
Stay away period, stay away! Even if I'm only basking in a fantasy for a little longer!