Tuesday, December 29, 2009

Mind Games

Hellooooooo Internetz! It feels like I haven't posted in FOREVER even though it's only been a week. Did you miss me? I sure missed you!

Thanks to all of you for having some fun with balls (AHEM) - see here or here to join in the fun! Remember ALL followers can take part - just leave me a comment in one of those posts! You can also re-tweet the contest on Twitter for even more chances to win! I'll be announcing the two winners on January 2 - what a way to start your New Year!

Fun aside, it's been an interesting time here in the nest. Irish Boy and I had a lovely Christmas and I certainly hope that whatever you were celebrating, it included good food, good friends, and lots of good times. It's also been almost a month since I've been off of Metformin and let me tell you, my body is missing it! I go for my diabetes test (aka: "No lab person, for the bloody 100th time, this is not for gestational diabetes, thanks for kicking me in the ovaries yet AGAIN test")next week so hopefully going off of it will give us some definitive answers. I was also missing my weekly acupuncture sessions due to the cold that didn't seem to want to go away, but got back to that last week and have been on routine ever since.

I told my ND about going off the Metformin and how my periods (or lack thereof) have gone totally wacky. I'm now on CD-56 - I had 3-4 days of super light spotting around CD-39 - CD-41 but I certainly couldn't call that a period. I also updated her on getting a number of headaches and just feeling generally exhausted.

You know what came next don't you?

ND's first words - "Do you think you could be pregnant?"

We both paused. Then laughed. No. Sadly, no miracle pregnancies here - male factor infertility remember!

But it's funny how the mind can work, eh? No word of a lie, on Christmas morning I woke up and somehow convinced myself that wasting a FRER HPT was a good idea. After all, I was exhausted, I only had a bit of spotting right around the usual time of my period, maybe I was?!

So I peed. On a stick.

Oh Internetz. I'd love to tell you that I then saw the gift that all of us infertiles were hoping to see and ran out and put a bow on the test to surprise Irish Boy with.

I'd love to tell you that.

But no. This is me remember? Just one sad little negative line appeared. I was okay though - no tears, no swears. Let me tell you though that the wine I had with dinner tasted a little sweeter in spite of it all!

So here I sit, not really sure what the heck is going on down in Ladyville and preparing myself for the big diabetes test next week. I have been experiencing some nausea after I've eaten for the past couple of days, but lest I get too excited I turned to my frenemy Dr. Google and have learned that this could be related to blood sugar issues. Damn it.

Better enjoy that wine and some more sweets before the New Year. Methinks I'm going to have to live like a saint come January!


Andrea said...

Hello :)

I'm Andrea and new to your blog from www.persuitofourfairytale.blogspot.com

Sending you lotts of good vibes as you go for your diabetes test, as it will be nice to get that behind you. Another step in the right direction is what I tell myself :) And, wine always helps to soothe doesn't it!

How long have you been doing accupuncture? I'm considering it and am looking for a clinic nearby.

Looking forward to getting to know another 30 something :)


Busted Kate said...

Oh girl, I have missed you. I've been stalking your site, mentally willing you to post. And you did, you did! Now, shall I use my powers for good or for awesome?

Anywho, as usual you are a woman after my own heart. I am sad for your lack of Metformin, I don't ever ever want to go off of it. I have created a little love story with my Metformin, sort of like Bella and Edward except Metformin wouldn't leave me to hunt down a vampire in South America.

Sorry about having to take that #$%!@#(* test, I hate that thing because a) it makes you feel gross, and b) I got asked 3 times if it was for gestational diabetes. Nope, not pregnant, just fat. Thanks for asking.

MWAH! You rock, Kate

Beautiful Mess said...

Oooohhh you have 107 followers! How awesome is THAT?! Congrats, my love!

I hope your wine was amazing! Good luck with your doctor's appointments. If anyone can live like a saint, it's you!

tishi said...

It has been a while and you were missed.
Of course we would have also loved for you
to have seen 2 pink lines and been able to
blog about that, but its good to have you
post either way!!! congrats on getting all those
posts and good luck with the testing :(
I too will be living like a saint come January,
those will be fun posts :)

Anonymous said...

I'm sorry you're stuck doing that awful test :(.
I say, enjoy the wine and sweets :). New Year's is right around the corner - plenty of time to be good then!

dawn said...

love your blog! You are so funny and obviously very strong! We have been thru 6 failed IVF attempts and finally turning to egg donation....yikes! I'm scared, excited..all of it but we have failed so many times and it nearly put me in an early grave so it's good to read what others are doing...good luck!

Mad Hatter said...

Ugh. Sorry about the test, and the MIA AF...Yes, do enjoy your sweets and wine my friend and may the new year bring you great health and fertility and a big bouncing baby (or two)!

Jen @ After The Alter said...

BFN's are the absolute worst..even when you aren't truly expecting a BFP! Being a girl sucks sometimes..especially when it comes to TTC :( I hope you get some answers soon.

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