Monday, August 24, 2009

Nerves

Internetz, tomorrow I head into the fertility clinic - for the first time since early June (aka my last failed cycle) - for a visit with the RE. I'm still on my break until at least next cycle but I wanted to see her to chat and possibly get a sense of the 'game plan' as we move forward.

I have to confess. I'm nervous. Nervous about going back to the clinic and starting this whole fucked up process again. Nervous about how many more cycles this may take us. Nervous about the fact that what little insurance coverage we have is almost up and I don't know how we'll ever be able to afford this on our own. Nervous that the RE will just declare me a lost cause.

I know I have at least a month to go, but the thought of bloodwork, dildo cams, and injections from home a la Irish Boy make me want to scream.

Will it all just fall back into routine like it was before my break?

Keep your fingers crossed that the RE is full of optimism and light. Guess I'd better savour what's left of my break before the craziness begins again.

9 comments:

twoweekwait said...

I have my fingers crossed for you that tomorrow will ease your worries and the stress you feel right now *hugs*

MoonNStarMommy said...

Good luck tomorrow ... I hope she is a beacon of hope and has all sorts of great answers for you :)

Happy ICLW :)

jenicini said...

Common' you know you missed the dildo cams! My hubby just went to his first U/S with me this week and flipped a little bit when he realized it wasn't an U/S like the one he had! LOL. Priceless. Hope it brings a little smile to your face.

I'm sending you lots of positive thoughts. I'm hoping that your meeting helps. *hugs*

babyincredible said...

fingers crossed. prayers prayed. wishes wished. heres hoping for the best.

minname said...

good luck today... I love game plans and routine so hopefully it all comes together for you guys *hugs*

Kathy said...

Best wishes for your consultation today! IF and ART cycles are such a roller coaster ride. I can appreciate you not knowing if you are feeling up to another cycle and all that it entails. Hang in there. (((HUGS))) I wish you the best.

ICLW

Queen D said...

Good luck, hopefully things will start falling into place. I've never been good at the waiting part, if only there was an IF crystal ball that told us when or if this would all be over. *hugs*

Jennifer said...

I told you September would be here before you knew it!

Good luck. The "plan of action" tête-à-tête is always nervewracking, I think. You'll feel better once a plan is in place, I'm sure.

Beautiful Mess said...

I hope your appointment went well today! Sending you lots of love and peace, hon!
*HUGS*

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